HE, HIM AND THEM May02

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HE, HIM AND THEM

Any gay individual would long to be in love with a man and to have a relationship.  Sanjay, who hails from Kerala and lives in Bengaluru, wanted to be with a man and to start a family together ever since had been in terms with his sexuality and accepted himself about a decade ago. Yes! You heard it ‘Family’ comprising of same sex partners and lets read on why Sanjay is open about his Relationship with his lover, Sudhir.

“How strong were you through out as a gay before you did end up in a relation?”

Sanjay-“I had always been a strong person; it never rankled me when I was made fun by my friends for being different. I was not too bothered with the arguments the straight world came up with, ‘Two men cannot be a family, ‘without kids a family will not be complete’ etc: Their arguments, indeed, made me stronger to emerge as a man who loves another man”.

“Can you brief your experience from being single to be a committed partner?”

Sanjay- “In my pursuit to have a family I have had my share of short and long term relationships, dates and Finally I could  find the right person. Sudhir too has gone through several ups and downs in his life and has finally found his love in me. We both are very different persons; he loves reading and I hate books. Sudhir likes sports and I don’t even know who hold the latest cricket titles. ‘Opposites attract’ did prove for us though not in terms of gender and we are a family for almost two years as of now”.

“Do you find yourselves different from heterosexual couple, in any means?”

Sanjay-“Oh Yes. We don’t live for the sake of being in a relation or did end up in this relation due to pressure from family or society. Our relation is different unlike straight couples’ who gets legal acceptance. We would like to get married for legal and marital benefits once if India legally accepts same-sex relations”.

“Sanjay, do you think it is necessary for gay couples to be open regarding their relationship?”

Sanjay- “Yes, I do. Besides the need to be ourselves among our gang of friends and feel to have the integrity, I think gay couples can be models to the society to erase the myth that same-sex relationships don’t last long”

“What message you would like to leave for the young LGBT individuals in our state?”

Sanjay-“Our thoughts are always with those who face troubles for their sexual orientation is different from others.  My partner and I will continue to support not only participates in several LGBT events but also personally support many gay and lesbian friends. We are queer and we are here to stay!”

People are different and need not exactly fit into narrow definitions of relationship, marriage and family. Sanjay and his partner Sudhir reminds us that a being in a relationship, one must not necessarily follow the rules of a family that society has set and expected to be followed.