Misunderstood Homophobes May02

Misunderstood Homophobes

Being a rational -not a known giver of shits- Indian teenager, I sincerely believe that homophobes are mistreated everywhere. I mean, think about those poor people, often criticized for being complete jerks, assholes and other -not so cool- adjectives. What have they done to deserve something like this!? Since when did being stupid become a crime? To be honest, it takes a lot of guts to come out and admit the fact that you are a complete Idiot. I mean, I am an 18 year old Indian student, acing all my subjects, mugging up stuff and vomiting it on my answer papers three times a year and I have not given a single clue to any of my peers or my teachers or my relatives that I am an exceptional Idiot! So, dear Homophobes, I respect the fact that you are not pusillanimous. Homophobes are like misunderstood sharks to be honest. They are just trying to help you. According to them, it is obvious that you choose to hang out with people belonging to your own gender because of the fact that you are not really good at scoring points with the opposite gender. Due to the immense disappointment, you tend to give up any hopes of dating someone “for real” and prefer to stick with other “losers” who can’t score points against the opposite gender. This theory is as accurate as it can get. Take a look at Neil Patrick Harris and Ellen DeGeneres, they are like the biggest examples of being ugly and incapable of dating. They just wish to give you dating lessons so that you stick with the “Laws of nature”. Such nice people. Recently, I was having a discussion with one of my friends regarding this topic and voila! He turned out to be a homophobe! Can you believe this? – I have a friend, who is of my age, living in the same year, same century, same world as I am, yet he is so vintage! Man! he could give instagram some major inferiority complex with his retro-ness. He hates homosexuals. He hates them because he hates Justin Bieber. He hates them because he finds it disgusting when dudes kiss other dudes. He hates them because hot chicks are dating other hot chicks and he is still single. He hates them with a lot of pain and anger. I felt bad for him; but being a very genuine asshole and extremely good at it, I could not feel his feels. I chose to enlighten him with some universal truths instead.Universal truth no. 1 – “Being gay has got nothing to do with being a faggot” (which was shamelessly plagiarized of course) Universal truth no. 2 – “Stop watching gay porn and stop stalking the gay couple living next door” (for the humour)Universal truth no. 3 – “Even if those chicks were straight, you would still be single. You are ugly, just deal with it” (Wiser words were never spoken before)After putting some serious thought into it, for about 5 seconds, he replied “Are you gay bro?” I could see the genuine concern in his voice and that made me happy about the fact that he would still be my friend regardless of my sexual orientation. I was able to enlighten him and he was willing to learn, I did not wish to continue the topic anymore because I figured out that deep down inside, he did not give a shit about gender, love or sexuality. He was worried about bigger problems like getting a real girlfriend and breaking up with his right hand. People are rarely thinking on their own. They are motivated to think freely, but with the society’s permission. There are no homophobes, there are just people who are ignorant, people who prefer playing it safe. People like my friend, people who are essentially nice, but are blinded by the society’s so-called “law of nature”. It is the duty of marginally smarter beings like us, to remind them that there is no “law...

HE, HIM AND THEM May02

HE, HIM AND THEM

Any gay individual would long to be in love with a man and to have a relationship.  Sanjay, who hails from Kerala and lives in Bengaluru, wanted to be with a man and to start a family together ever since had been in terms with his sexuality and accepted himself about a decade ago. Yes! You heard it ‘Family’ comprising of same sex partners and lets read on why Sanjay is open about his Relationship with his lover, Sudhir. “How strong were you through out as a gay before you did end up in a relation?” Sanjay-“I had always been a strong person; it never rankled me when I was made fun by my friends for being different. I was not too bothered with the arguments the straight world came up with, ‘Two men cannot be a family, ‘without kids a family will not be complete’ etc: Their arguments, indeed, made me stronger to emerge as a man who loves another man”. “Can you brief your experience from being single to be a committed partner?” Sanjay- “In my pursuit to have a family I have had my share of short and long term relationships, dates and Finally I could  find the right person. Sudhir too has gone through several ups and downs in his life and has finally found his love in me. We both are very different persons; he loves reading and I hate books. Sudhir likes sports and I don’t even know who hold the latest cricket titles. ‘Opposites attract’ did prove for us though not in terms of gender and we are a family for almost two years as of now”. “Do you find yourselves different from heterosexual couple, in any means?” Sanjay-“Oh Yes. We don’t live for the sake of...

Being Gay 2 Apr05

Being Gay 2

Let me begin this by showing a picture of the text message that I got after writing my first post on Against Ignorance I never told the person who sent me these messages about my sexuality yet after reading the article, that’s what he had to say. Being gay is not bad or dark, like the movie sets of “Twilight” or “Sleepy Hollow”.  It’s about love. It’s about seeing a person’s true self. It’s about your friends making you feel “No matter what, I will be there for you”.  I don’t know how this works but from what I have experienced, if you belong to any of LGB or T, magically people start to love you more. (Well, they have their own reasons. No matter how greek god-ish you look, you are no longer a threat to another guy! Amen!) People start to love you. Things doesn’t just stop there, they will let you know that you are loved. I think that is more important. Showing the true affection what you feel for others. All of a sudden you are their valued possession. There will always be someone around you. People start to raise their voices to defend you. I’ll tell you something which happened to me. My best friend is a proper traditional Rajasthani Rajput guy, 2 years elder than me. He has only seen the concept of homosexuality in American movies. He was the first person whom I came out to during my under graduation days. It was a telephonic conversation and when I told him that I was gay, he didn’t speak for about 30 seconds. Pure silence. After that he asked me have I tried changing myself. He even tried to find me a girlfriend in college so that I’ll...

Am I Gay? Apr02

Am I Gay?

There comes a point in lives of every queer individual where she/he needs to accept her/his sexual orientation though one need not come out regarding this. Yes, coming in terms with one’ own sexuality stayed as a herculean task for me too, especially being born as the eldest son in a traditional Syrian Christian family. Though I was quite vivid on the fact that am attracted only to chiseled male faces and toned chests of them, I was totally unaware of terms like gay, coming out etc: . For me life as a teenager was all engaged with various activities that kept me restricted from the jocund of cute girls. Though I didn’t even know any gay people in person till I was 21, I always carried the fear of denial that took me farther away from the answer I was seeking. Internet brought me many friends with the same genes and I could learn more about the alternate sexuality from various sources, but then as told homosexuality was a matter of secret to every gay man I came across, who all were hiding their true face from their wives and leading a dual life. Even, I had not much worries and had plan to get married and live on with family. As years passed and my age surged to late twenties I did not only realize that testosterone ooze in me only when males pass by but also my sexual quotient for women was null. It was then I met a few gay persons who were living single and was Open about what they are. They could give me an idea on the natural default to which we all must return at some stage and how impossible it is to be miserable forever, how natural it is to us and it’s not a choice! Yes, the blockage of...

Being Gay Apr02

Being Gay

My name is Gopu. I am doing my masters in Human genetics and molecular biology. I wanted to do masters in social work but my heart beats for DNA. Well, who said that I can’t be a “social work-ing geneticist” ? I hate the colour pink, I’m a blue/red guy. Dog person. Scared of heights, but did bungie jumping once. Yea, I like to live dangerously. I love dancing, sipping coffee, soaking in the sun, riding motorbikes, being with kids, watching gore stupid horror movies. Madhavikutty is my favorite author. I love songs by ABBA and Boney M. I have won many awards for my acting skills during my school days. During my under graduation, I discovered a new strain of bacteria “Bacillus foraminis” that has the potential of causing food poisoning. Oh! and I am Gay. If you are one of those stereotypical Indian citizens who are bothered about a person’s sex life and orientation than understanding the fact that there is more to a person than his sexual preference, then I guess you are not interested in this article anymore. All my achievements are irrelevant, just because I am not into women. Being gay in India is dramatic. Here you are always expected to be this hyper – masculine, testosterone – oozing super male who can hit sixes in cricket and with women at the same time. If you are anything less than this, then you do not qualify to be an Indian “Mard” . Here, people raise their children just to mate with the opposite gender and populate the streets. Understanding one’s self and accepting one’s own sexuality is itself a huge thing that requires courage. When you feel that you are not normal, you cannot tell about the way you...

IT’S NOT A CHOICE Feb05

IT’S NOT A CHOICE

Many a times I have asked myself what if I were not born this way, what if I had only the usual feelings that a guy has to another. My life would have been different for sure, I would not have undergone many chapters of confusion and pain. I would not have felt the need to suppress my emotions. I would not have had to choose living a closeted life. In short, I could have been living a life much free of insecurities and confusions. During my school days, there was this boy whom I used to find really weird. He always behaved as if he were a girl. I found his feminine conducts not befitting to a male. I guess he was ignored by most of the boys and he had only girls for company. I too used to think low of him, used to look at him with contempt, even finding difficult to give a smile. My eight year old mind didn’t want to understand him. Many years later, I realized I’m gay and the path towards that realization was very trying. I found myself asking questions unable to find answers. I felt like I was the only one feeling this attraction towards men and I couldn’t find anyone to ask for help. Then through the internet I understood there are many who feel the same way and I also became aware that most of the people do not see gays as equal to them, often gays are looked down upon. I read many instances of homophobic attacks. I felt this was all very unfair. That’s when my mind spoke to me, “Now how do you feel when you are on the receiving side of this hatred and contempt!” I then realised...